Discover your dream

This beautiful blonde is my oldest daughter, Karlea. I dedicate this post to her. :)

Success in and of itself doesn't mean fullfillment. Life is about experiences and God uses our experiences to encourage others and the added bonus is we find satisfaction when we serve God and serve others. This brings meaning to life. What you are is God's gift to you and what you do with yourself is your gift to God.

As a child Karlea loved to go around the house singing. She lived from her heart and seemed to enjoy blessing others with her smile and her song. She hugged and expressed love to others because she wanted to not because she had to. She knew from a young age the music that played in her heart. God had given her a gift of compassion and that fits her nursing career very well.

Most of us settle for what life brings us; I know for me it seems at times I just live life the way it comes. I don't think that is what God had in mind when he weaved us with such care and detail while we still were inside our mother's womb. He has woven into our heart a special purpose, unique to us. It is important to find that dream and began persuing it. This dream is not just so we can be happy. And, it's not so we can feel significant or have the satisfaction of knowing we are living out our destiny. Those are all benefits of living out what God had in mind, but they are not the motivation and reason behind discovering it. Our motive is to fulfill the call that God has placed on our lives and live out for Him what He intended, for His glory.

God is the dream giver and he doesn't want to keep it from you. That is God that put that desire in your heart to make something of life, to accomplish something. Desires in the heart are put there so we realize we have a dream to discover.

Our assignments usually are just as much about the formation and development of our heart as it is about what is needing to be done. Most have a dream on their heart that they feel at one time or another they will not be able to live out. We stumble through the journey but God's arms are always reaching out, waiting for us to reach back. When we allow negative messages to interfere we need to take a heap of positive encouragement to replace one single negative message. Wounded hearts can heal and you can become whole! Focus on the solution and not the problem because you cannot change any part of what happened by reliving it. Getting hurt is inevitable, but to be a victim is your choice. It takes the same energy to choose forgiveness as to choose bitterness.

I took my life over some bumpy roads and made some bad choices that have had lifelong consequences But God restored my hope and reassured me that He promises in His word to work all things (even the bad things) together for good in our life when we love Him and are called to His purposes. I heard a Pastor once say, we all love chocolate chip cookies Umm Umm, but how many of us like the individual ingredients that go into them? God mixes all the bad stuff together and makes a delicious cookie.

"Life is like a canvas, make yours a masterpiece!" This was the theme of Karlea's 6th grade graduation. Have you ever thought of your life as a masterpiece? We are God's masterpiece! The dream weaver is also a master artist. He specializes in taking corrupted canvases and repainting them into magnificient masterpieces. No matter how badly I have messed up, no matter what mistakes I might have made, God has redeemed my life, restored it, and renewed it into a beautiful masterpiece. It is never to late to become a blessing and to leave a legacy.

We all come into the world the same way, sinners trying to paint our own canvas. When we make a wrong choice in life, a bad brush stroke appears and we try to hide it or make it blend into the overall picture of our lives. A big mistake looks like a spill of paint right through the middle of the canvas. We mess up that painting every time we screw up and sometimes it looks like there is nothing we can do to salvage the piece. Give God the brush and let him do what only he can do with your life.

Renewal is the ministry God does best. God takes what seems to us completely unworkable and makes it of utmost value. Grasp the wonder of God's love for you as you surrender your life to Jesus.

Find out what makes your heart sing and let God touch the deeepest part of your soul. The worst thing in the world would be for one to die with unplayed songs in their heart.

Be strong and courageous

God graces us with strength and courage for battle



I’m going to share with you about someone I knew who died of cancer. Eight year old, Meghan Post was a neighbor and good friend to our family.

I first met Meghan when she was three years old. Even as a 3 year old she exhibited a zest for life that never seemed to fade even when she was diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor at age 5. Throughout her illness, several things stand out about her attitude and God’s grace in her life: First of all, she still had a concern for other people even though she was suffering herself. For example, she prayed for other children with cancer, she spread sunshine to those in the radiation waiting room and maintained her contact with friends. Second, she had a lot of love inside of her to give away. She always wanted to hug and kiss people. Every time she would ride with me in the van she would say “give me a hug and kiss”. Third, she showed good coping skills, her illness left her with a poor sense of balance so she couldn’t ride bike or run as well as before but she didn’t give up. She asked her dad to put her training wheels back on her bike and she and her friends would play with sticker books and found other non-strenuous activities to do. Fourth, she developed a rich, spiritual understanding of God. One of her favorite songs was “You Can’t Take My Jesus Away From Me”. She had something strong to hold on to and for her it was her faith in God.

Meghan had an incredible family support system, all the way from her immediate family to her extended family, Parents, brothers, aunts and uncles, cousins and grandparents. They all made sacrifices of their time and money to support each other during the difficult times they faced. I am sure it helped Meghan to know that she was cared for so deeply.

Meghan exhibited strength, love and courage. Her eight years she lived on this earth were a strong punctuation for how to live and love. She didn’t even realize she was teaching us but she was! Some people spend their entire lives searching for this faith and courage that Meghan’s entire life embodied. Her life was an example that the people around her were to follow. Her attitude has inspired me so much over the years and it continues to have a positive effect on me. “Attitude: A little thing that makes a big difference!” These words of wisdom ring true no matter what age you are.

Ten years later this child still has a tremendous impact on how I feel I should live out my Christian life.

Life itself is a gift through God’s grace and it has many voices. If the sounds are grim we must bear them, if they are joyful let us hold onto them. We are recipients unable to choose what life will give us; yet we can choose how we will respond.

With the Easter season upon us, we celebrate the miraculous, unbelievable, unpredictable and spectacular grace of God. I am reminded of how much hope, happiness and love Meghan spread while she was here in spite of the suffering and death associated with her cancer. At Easter we celebrate the gift of salvation that Jesus brought to us by hanging and dying on that cross for our sin. Just as children with cancer and their parents may feel forsaken, Jesus did too! He asked God, “Do I have to do this”? He willingly died for us. Light rises from the darkness bringing forth life from death. New hope that dawns for me on Easter morning is that we can all love God and others with unabashed faith as Meghan did!

Let the miracle of Easter shine in your heart and lead you to value the “great” and ignore the “trivial”. Let it shine over your sorrow!

The Bible says in Joshua 1:9 be strong and courageous! Even though Meghan is not a physical survivor, her courage and strength is an example for us all today.

Hope in God

No matter how much we want the ideal - we cannot be perfect this side of heaven. We all make a mess of our lives in one way or another but God can take that mess and make it into a message of hope for someone else.

It doesn't matter how banged up or torn up we become, God promises "a bruised reed he will not break." God cares about the bumps and bruises we acquire and even though he doesn't remove every negative circumstance from our life he promises He will go with us. Sometimes I question "God, where are you"? I've even found myself asking "God why won't you do that for me" ? God holds the answers to all life's difficult questions and the days He gives us are all days of grace whether we are enjoying them or enduring them. We know He is always working for our good and His glory.

This hope in God is what we can hold onto when we are getting banged around or torn up in life. We certainly cannot hold onto our human strength. The old familiar saying, "when the going gets tough the tough get going" used to be something I believed until God showed me through experience that we do not have what it takes in and of ourselves to get out of the tight spots in life. We may white knuckle it for awhile and put on a tough outer shell but one day we break and we find ourselves crying out to God for the help that only He can give. My experience has been that God is close when we are brokenhearted and His grace, love and mercy are extended to us so that we may put one foot in front of the other and move forward. Really a broken and contrite spirt is what God longs for.

A dented fender won't stop the car from running nor will life mishaps disrupt your hope and faith in God.

Tyler James Opsal (my grandson)

Saying "I'm sorry"

Some things can only be repaired by an apology and nothing else. Apologies are not a pass or fail. When giving an apology, any performance less than an “A” really does not cut it. They are usually patronizing, staged, insincere, or generalized, and do not take responsibility. When we make bad apologies, we put more strain on the relationship and can cause bitterness to remain.
A bad apology is worse than no apology. People know when you are making an insincere apology and they find it insulting. Bad apologies are “I’m sorry YOU hurt by what I’ve done; another common bad apology is “I apologize for what I did, but you also need to apologize to me for what you’ve done.” That is not giving an apology it is asking for one. Good apologies will 1). Bring peace, 2). Stop arguments, and 3). Restore broken relationships. It soothes the offended, relieves the offender, and brings emotional healing to both of their hearts.

When we do not apologize after an offense, everything can tend to spin out of control. Common causes for failure to apologize are pride and fear of shame and the belief that apologizing is a sign of weakness and admission of guilt. A good apology is an act of honesty, humility and generosity. It is a sign of courage not weakness.

Make a good effort to apologize in a proper and heartfelt manner. However, do not expect the other person to apologize back. We cannot control that. After all, not everyone reaches the right emotional place to apologize at the exact moment we do. So, be patient. I have seen people apologize, and then several days later the other person came around. Your patience will be both appreciated and rewarded.

The right way to apologize:
¨ Do not justify, minimize or make excuses for what you did. Take responsibility!
“What I did was wrong”
¨ Be genuine when you express regret for the mishap
“I feel badly that I hurt you”
¨ Ask what you can do to repair the damage?
“How do I make this better?”
¨ Make the apology timely.
Sooner is usually better than later.

When you look at things from a Christian point of view these key steps to an apology are a form of repentance; Note the similarity to confession, remorse, and restitution.

Sacred Marriage

“God has a plan for your marriage, but the enemy of God has a plan for it as well.”
Most couples stand at the alter desiring a blessed by God union but all to often it becomes a bleeding union where each one’s brokenness and walls prevent the other one from getting close.

God is the author of marriage and he wants us to enjoy a vibrant marriage but we need to have a teachable heart. When the marriage is going through a tough time, it is a unique opportunity to let the Lord work in a huge way in you. Oftentimes that means that we will get all of our esteem, all of our love, and all of our confidence from Him alone! We always think it is our partner that needs to change. We have to trust the Lord to change our honey and to protect our marriage.

When we make moves toward each other instead of moving away it helps us to be like minded, sympathetic for the other, kind and tenderhearted, and humble in spirit. Human nature wants us to return evil for evil or insult for insult; you know the thoughts, “how can I even the score?” We have to purpose to give a blessing instead no matter how the other one treats you. Then we might inherit a blessing.

Marriage isn't easy for any of us. No matter what anyone tells you, we all have to work at it, because at the heart of it we are all selfish. Really, all the problems in marriage come from selfishness. You get upset that your spouse does not do things for you because you want something. The spouse gets upset because you ask for something and he does not want to give anything of himself. It is selfishness. Period. And, only the Lord can work that out.

Sometimes we get so caught up in not feeling like we can trust our spouse; Don’t worry about trusting him. Trust the Lord to protect your marriage and you. That is what He does. Trusting in the Lord shifts the focus, so that we can trust our husbands, even if they may not be trustworthy. That is grace! Giving what is not deserved. We have grace because of what the Lord has given us. The Lord wants to be glorified in your marriage. He doesn't just want you to be happy. He wants to be exalted and glorified in it. Sometimes we have to realize that the other person cannot give us everything, so that we let Him be the glue in our marriage.
So, a few suggestions:

#1 – Pray together every day. Bless your spouse in your prayer, though. Do not ask God to change him, or to make him anything other than who he is. (If he will not pray with you, then pray for him on your own every day.)

#2 – When you start to tell him what you need, don’t. Pray and ask the Lord to provide whatever it is that you need. If it is through your honey, fine. If not, trust that He will. (Sometimes when we ask our honeys for something and they don't give it, it just makes us resentful and less willing to give ourselves.)

#3 – Find things everyday that will bless your honey. Make their coffee the way they like it or tell them they smell good. Don't expect anything in return. (This is grace in action. The Lord will bless you for it, and you'll feel less like maybe you deserve their ill-treatment)

#5 - Don't let your mind stay on the negative things in your marriage. Stop yourself when you go there, and move to either positive things in it, or to verses that remind you of the goodness of the Lord.

#4 – Read your Word every day. Write on index cards the things that the Lord speaks to you, especially having to do with your esteem in Him or His faithfulness, or His willingness to provide for you. Concentrate on His goodness and provision.

Rise up and march forward in the strength of the Lord!

Thanks to my dear friend Margaret Opsal for sharing many of these thoughts with me!!!

Do Not Worry

Mark Twain said “I’ve experienced a lot of terrible things in my life – and some of them actually happened”. I too have let negative and insecure thinking cause me much worry. When I get my feelings hurt I focus on negative thinking. The other night I got so absorbed in the details of what was upsetting me; I began to feel worse because one thought lead to another, and yet another until I got so upset that I started thinking “I cannot believe this is happening to me” which of course allowed me to throw one big pity party for myself. This snowball thinking reveals my all-too-human side?
Rehearsing the painful thoughts repeatedly is like making a snowball, the more you roll it around in the snow or add more snow to it, the bigger the snowball gets; Likewise the more we obsess over hurt emotions and add more negative thoughts to it the bigger the problem gets and we become more worried and stressed. When we fill our head with stuff like this it causes us to react to circumstances with agitation and harshness which robs us of the serentiy that God wants us to have.
God is the Father of peace. Many of us are worrisome and peace seems foreign to us. We long for our thoughts to be toward that inner tranquility regardless of the outward circumstances.

“The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:5-7)


When times are difficult we can direct our thoughts away from the hurtful events and toward our Father of peace. Thankfulness controls the temptation to dwell on the fear provoking events. It is impossible to be thankful and worry at the same time. The Lord has told us. Do not be anxious for anything.” When you catch yourself rehearsing a hurt, say to yourself, “whew, there I go again” and consciously nip it in the bud. Stop the train before it gets going because once it gets rolling, it is a slippery slope.
Maybe we cannot be thankful for the hurt in our heart but we can be thankful that God is near, that Jesus is standing by our side to take us to the Father of peace. When we pray we can hear God clearly say, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28).

The dance of intimacy

Ever since Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, men and women have been hiding their deepest selves from one another. That’s why intimacy takes work. However, there is hope! Because God is the designer of relationships, He made you and those around you and knows our hearts, He knows how to help you connect with the key people in your life. Granted, intimacy can be one of the most frightening and challenging things you’ll ever experience, but if you are willing to climb the uphill battle, it can also be one of the most rewarding and satisfying parts of life.
Mature Intimacy is a place in which we can define the self and respect the emotional separateness of the other. Intimacy will not occur as long as we assume that we are the “expert” on how another should handle their relationships. If we find we alternate between silence and distance, or fighting and blaming we can rest assured these behaviors will keep us STUCK by ensuring that problems will not be addressed in a productive way. Problems will arise as well when we look to intimate relationships as our source of self-esteem.
We must be willing to fight for intimacy in our marriages and to fiercely guard it. We fight for it by being attentive to each other’s hearts; by yielding to God in a way that allows us to more easily yield to one another. We guard it by being intentional, considering what pulls us from intimacy and stepping away from those places, considering what brings us life and stepping deliberately into those places.
My lover is mine and I am his; we long to belong. Marriage, as a coming together before God, offers a sense of belonging that mirrors our belonging to the Father. While the vulnerability that intimacy brings is sometimes hard or scary to step into, it is such a wonderfully holy place that God gives us, a place of delighting in one another that echoes of the Father’s delight in us.
Father, forgive me the places where, although I long to belong, I rebel under your covering. Forgive me the places where I choose not to yield. Let me delight so much in You that I can delight in the one you have given me in marriage, that together we might be Yours. For more information see www.fatherlovesyou.net